Scary Stories at Bedtime

Preface:  This is primarily for people who know Katie...no pictures this time.  Actually, it's primarily for us. 


Dani got an early bedtime (no nap) tonight, so Cole took Katie out to Arthur's Seat.  On the way back, after climbing up 82 steps, Katie decided that a bench with a gorgeous view of Arthur's Seat was a good place to stop for a short rest.  Katie heard birds singing, and asked what they were singing about.  She wasn't satisfied with Cole's answer:  "Hot dogs!  Get yer hot dogs here!  Hot dogs...."


She wanted a scary story, and Cole replied that there was no way she was getting a scary story right before bedtime.  Katie insisted, so Cole compromised:  It would be a scary story about sheep.  Racking his brain to figure out a scary story about sheep, Cole looked up in the sky and saw an airplane.  Aha!


We're recording this very silly story here so we've got it later.  Read no further if ewe are not interested in absurd 5-year-old humor. 




On a warm spring evening, a swanky jet departed from New Jersey's Newark Airport bound for Edinburgh, Scotland.  The plane had everything you could possibly want.  A pilot, a co-pilot, computers, great big engines, flight attendants, and little individualized movie screens that would allow you to watch whatever you wanted to watch.  The flight was full, and the crew patiently and carefully loaded up all its passengers, making sure everyone was buckled in and comfortable.  One crew member went in the back and played around with some metal cages, but nobody was paying attention.  Not when they could watch cartoons at the push of a button!


The jet took off and climbed over the Statue of Liberty, gently soaring seven miles in the air.  The attendants came around and gave little airline meals to everyone and made sure everyone got enough to drink.  The choice of meals:  Chicken, fish, or...a bucket of grain?  Nobody chose the bucket of grain.


As the sun went down and the night grew old, many folks switched off their movies and tucked themselves in for a brief night of sleep.  But then, a young girl thought she heard someone call for ma-a-a-a-m.  Thought it might be her sister, but no, she was asleep.  Then, she thought that her baby sister asked for her ba-a-a-a-tle.  But the baby sister was also sound asleep.


Unbeknownst to the passengers, a flock of rogue sheep were being transferred back to Scotland on this flight.  These sheep were a part of a jailbreak in Scotland years ago, and had made it all the way to the New Jersey Turnpike, where they ran out of change.  The sheep were being extradited back to the UK, where they would stand trial.  But all it took was the carelessness of a flight attendant, and one wee bit of turbulence...


...and Colin the King Sheep was loose.  Carefully and quickly, Colin freed his comrades.  Quietly, they moved from their cages and into the back kitchen area.  There could be no escape at this altitude.  But they would not go down without a fight.  A plan was formed and the sheep moved into formation.  THIS was the point of no return.


Colin, with his face painted the navy blue of the Scottish flag, led the ba-a-a-a-a-tle cry!!!!


The rest of the sheep were more the follower-type than leaders, and charged down the aisle, knocking down passengers and overturning the drink cart.  The airlines would later say that the sheep were distracted at this point, but perhaps the sheep were aiming for the (freshly reloaded) drink cart for a reason.  The sheep herded passengers, flight attendants, and even a Collie guide dog (both for good measure and irony) into their vacated cages and forced them to sleep on the cold steel floor.  Meanwhile, the sheep demanded and received access to their favorite movies:  Sheephana Montana, The Princess and the Sheep, Sheeplock Holmes, and (ironically) The Sheepshank Redemption.


The sheep were rather boorish in their behavior.  They'd brought little sheep headphones, sure, but their laughing and carousing was keeping the passengers back in the sheep cages awake.  Most did not even bother to pay the $5 for domestic beers with exact change.  Upon arrival, the gallant (and tipsy) sheep were apprehended, but not before one last memorable all-night ba-a-a-a-a-a-sh that people on this flight would not soon forget.


Epilogue:  Colin was arrested and detained for questioning, while the rest of the sheep were exiled to the cloudy face of Badsheep Hill, where the grass actually *is* greener on the other side.  However, more than a few people have reported recent sightings of a maverick blue-faced sheep around London's Heathrow airport, just casing the joint and biding his time...